i can't stop the tears.......
many nights i just cry myself to sleep.......
why is everything going wrong all at once........
have i done something wrong??
why is having faith so much easier when things are going good? i mean, when something is going your way and everything's good, you can't help but give God the glory.......
but what about when things are going so bad, you wonder why God is allowing all this to happen to you. what have you really done to deserve this? then you realize, it's nothing that you've done. it's born in you. it's the sin nature that is in all of us when we are born into this world. we don't deserve anything that we have so when something does go right, we're happy. we praise him. when things go bad, because of our true natures, we blame God. we try to put God on a guilt trip thinking that he will change his mind and give us what we want. you know..... it doesn't work like that. it never has worked like that and never will work like that.
God is a jealous, loving God. he gives us, not necessarily what we want, but what we need but if those things get in the way of that personal relationship, then he can and will take it away. he wants all the glory. he deserves all the glory. many times we get mad at him when things are taken away. it's just not in our comprehension to understand why he does what he does. but i've recently come to realize that i've been putting other things first. i've been not doing things that i know i should be doing and if i do do those things, i only do it half-heartily. the reason why is i am so busy with things that aren't as important as i perceive them to be, that i lose focus on what i need to do. God has been showing me recently that i need to get back to him. ok, so i go to church....... i work in the nursery..... i sing in the choir...... i give of myself and i give of myself, but what about what i personally need? all those things are great, but what happens when you become too wrapped up in them to actually grow in the way you should grow? i've come to realize that I just need some time to re-evaluate what i do and what i don't do and find ways to just 'be still'.
things always work out for our good....... as long as it's in his timing and not our own. and as long as we are in his will. i was told this a few years ago and i haven't forgotten it to this day and this is the last thing i'm going to write for now..... "You might be comfortable in your comfort zone, but once you leave your comfort zone and enter into God's comfort zone, your's isn't so comfortable anymore."
