My Redeeming Love

I have recently read Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers and what a great book it is. I'm sure most people would compare themselves to either Michael or Angel.... but me, I compare myself to Paul. In the book, Paul is Michael's brother-in-law. After trying to pan for gold in the mountains, he comes back to the valley and finds that Michael has married a former prostitute from Pair-a-dice. He hates Angel from the moment he laid eyes on her. He always sought to bring her down with his words, actions, and even using her as a form of "payment". As another family moves into the valley, Paul finds himself falling in love with the eldest daughter, Miriam, and convinced himself that he wasn't the right one for her. Michael was, even though he is already married. In the end, as he's planning on moving away. Miriam comes to him and offers herself to Paul so that he will realize that she loves him and wants to marry him and not Michael. As Angel has run away for the final time, Miriam persudaes Paul to go in search of Angel and bring her back. Since he hates Angel, he tries to think of stories to tell Miriam so he really wouldn't have to look too hard. He actually finds Angel, thinking she had gone back to prostitution, and finds out that not only has she done well for herself, she is also helping others who want to get out of that life style. He finds out that he was completely wrong about her and finds that everyone was right about her. That being mad, and cruel, and hateful to Angel was totally in the wrong for him.

I say all that to say this. I am like that. As much as I want to see that good in people, I tend to see their past and want to criticize them for it, not giving them a fair chance to be who God has intended for them to be. Also, it seems like every guy that I've ever liked, I've basically thrown it away because I believe that I am not good enough. I'm just not good enough. Why do I keep telling myself that. I have probably missed out on a lot of great friendships and possibly finding the one that God has for me. I'm not saying I have because I'm not God and I don't know everything, but I can pray for my future husband, where ever he is. As to criticizing others and trying to tear others doen when I should be building them up, this is something I really need to work on. I can give you a couple of examples of times that I have been like that. I can't say simply because I don't want to pin point anyone out.

God, please help me be more like You. Help me realize that no matter what a person's past is, You love them as much as You love me. Help me remember that they are Your children too. Grant me patience and wisdom. I love You and I ask these in Your name, Amen.

I can't believe what I just saw....

I was on facebook and one of the first things I read was (not putting name in on purpose) "So and So said that an unborn child is a dreamkiller. Right on M. So. Right on." Wow.... What has this world come to? I feel like crying. Isn't it our job to proctect the unborn? It's not their fault that 2 people have to have such lustful feelings outside of marriage. That unborn child is as innocent as it can be. I can't stress enough how sick that makes me.

Shake It Up......

sometimes i wonder why in the world does God allow bad things to happen to godly people. i know the answer is to not only to bring His child closer to Him, but also to test them to see how well they can handle the situation. i'm there now. i know that what i'm going through seems so hard right now, but i know it'll be better in the long run. God brings people into your life for certain reasons just as He takes people out of it. normally i hate it when He takes people out of my life but right now, i'm rather relieved. i'm not naming any names so no one will know who i'm talking about (unless it's one involved). it's been a hectic past few years and i am at my wits end...... i don't know what to do..... i try not to let it get to me but in the end it always tries to slip in..... i wish i coud just erase the past out of my head. yeah well, i know that's practically impossible. why does everything have to be so complicated?

on a lighter note, i get to see my 5 year olds tomorrow!!! i haven't seen them in 2 weeks.... i don't want this awana year to end... why can't this year go on forever?? :)

Come with me and you'll be in a world of pure imagination

i want to do something great with my life. i want my life to count. i want people to look at my life and know that i did the best i could and lived under the shadow of the Almighty. People will look and say that my life glorified God. 2011 is a brand new year and i am excited to say that things are going to change. it's 2011 and i have no resolutions.... i have goals and these goals are totally reachable. all i have to do is stay comitted and not give up. if you want to know what they are, you'll have to figure it out or just wait for the changes.... they're coming....